Top Ten Things to Do on Bagram Air Base on a Sunday

Brendan Dillon

10. Sneak into Base Ops and play the "Imperial March" over the emergency loudspeaker system.

9. Drink sixty O'Douls. It's the same amount of alcohol as a six-pack of the real stuff.

8. Paint all of the rocks fluorescent colors.

7. Wear an old-style gray PT shirt with the new-style pants, just to be rebellious.

6. Walk around and hunt for people doing #7, above. (First Sergeants and above only)

5. Grab a forklift and move porta-johns to unusual locations. (On top of shipping containers, etc.)

4. Go to the Escort Office**, and ask for a tall blonde who does fantasy acts.

3. Aim a laser pointer at Apaches and see what happens.

2. Make a gingerbread house out of MRE crackers.

And the Number One thing to do in Bagram on a Sunday...
1. Practice your golf swing, and help out the minesweepers at the same time!

**The Escort Office is where you pick up local contractors who are doing work on-base, while on escort detail. Then you escort them (hence the name) to the worksite, and basically just keep an eye on them all day.