From:    Brendan Dillon <antifrance@yahoo.com> 
Date:    Fri Oct 29, 1999 9:12 pm
Subject: The New and Improved Ten Commandments


A couple years ago, The True Religion had an alternate
version of the Ten Commandments. They pretty much
sucked, and I removed them. Now, I have received a new
version from God, a.k.a. Delilah, the fat black
lesbian midget Duct-Tape-Class God who outranks even
myself and the other Head Prophets. Members of The
True Religion should adhere to these commandments at
all times, unless they're inconvenient.

1. If it art not stuck, yet it should be, thou shalt
use duct tape. If it art stuck, yet it should not,
thou shalt use WD-40.*
2. Thou shalt not drink anything which should contain
caffeine yet dost not.
3. Thou shalt not drop thy Chalupa.
4. Thou shalt not allow thy leftovers in thy fridge to
grow into Republicans.
5. Thou shalt endeavor to free thyself from all evil
Canadian influences.
6. Thou shalt not eat Spam.
7. Thou shalt revere sandwichmaking as an art form.
8. Thou shalt not buy a Macintosh, nor shalt thee use
any more Microsoft products than necessary.
9. Thou shalt not scorn thy imaginary elf.
10. Thou shalt wreak havoc in your local K-Mart.

* Commandment #1 adapted from Jim and Tim, the Duct
Tape Guys.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

"Sir, this is Dr. Jeffrey Wilson from Wyoming. He says
he has developed a method for faster-than-light
travel."
"That's ridiculous. No one comes from Wyoming."

=====
Brendan Dillon,
General Purpose God

antifrance@yahoo.com -==- ICQ: 3129266
http://ducttape.simplenet.com

Blessed is he who comes in the name of Duct Tape.