From: William Roberson
To: 
Subject: Message from a stranger with roots in Greenboro, NC
where my dad was born.
Sent: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 07:58:52 -0700
At the risk of being deemed unholy,
I was wondering how you felt about alternative energy and
"off grid" living such as wind genertors and photovotic panels?
My family and I are winding down our lawsuits against the State
of Illinois and several of it's public entities for spreading
fear among our Village.
I personally sued the police department and one of it's officers
for a violation 18 USC 2721 when an officer interefered with my
employment after a traffic stop.
Before the case was turned over to my personal lawyer, I was
arrested on the West Side of Chicago while I delivering a pizza
to street gang members. All cahrges against me were either dropped
by the court, or my freedom was traded for by the lawyer.
I was released by the court on an I-Bond, but sustained continued
imprisonment when the CCDOC lost my file. It later turned up in
someone elses file. A person of the same name. William E. Roberson
of McHenry County.
My car, a convertible was towed and destroyed by the city on the
false claim that there was no license and no insurance.
I recently made a discovery on 9-18-01 and will share it with you
because I notice that many sci-fi references are on your web site.
moonmovie.com. Concidered as one of the only things I have ever
learned in nearly 39 years. The other thing is how to file a court
complaint against the police without a lawyer.
Finally, I like to write for my own entertainment. I may be famous
in the media circus, but not on this side of the tube.
Multiple Choice Question #1
Which of the following best describes a Summit Register?
A. A small town newspaper in Summit County Colorado
B. An area on the summit where a tired and hungry climber can warm up
C. A log on the summit people can sign when they've reached the top
of the mountain
D. A rock formation that resembles a staircase leading up to the summit
Question #2
You're cruising down the freeway and the driver of the car in front
of you swerves into your lane cutting you off and you have to slow
down from 35 mph to 33mph. Do you?
A. Speed up and tailgate hoping that he'll suddenly spin out of control
B. Speed up to pass. While passing roll down window and give him the finger
C. Ignore it
D. It all depends on how much insurance coverage you have
ANSWERS:
Question #1
The correct answer is C. A log on the summit people can sign when
they've reached the top of the mountain
Question #1
The correct answer is C. Both A and B are funny and it doesn't really
matter how much insurance you carry.
Have a great day!
William
Ps. When I began writing I was collecting autographs. Then they invented
the internet, but at least I received a photograph of an autograph
picture of Mel Brooks directly from Culver City, Ca.
It took us a couple of days to figure out what angle to take here, but we
eventually banged out a viable response.
From:
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2004 9:30 am
To: William Roberson
Subject: Re: Message from a stranger with roots in Greenboro, NC
where my dad was born.
William Roberson wrote:
> I was wondering how you felt about alternative energy and "off
> grid" living such as wind genertors and photovotic panels?
It violates no laws that we've made up so far.
> Before the case was turned over to my personal lawyer, I was
> arrested on the West Side of Chicago while I delivering a pizza to
> street gang members. All cahrges against me were either dropped
> by the court, or my freedom was traded for by the lawyer.
How exactly do you deliver a pizza to a street gang? "May I have
your address?" "No. Just deliver it to the bunch of menacing-looking
dudes next to the row of Harleys with shotgun racks on the sides, on
the corner of 5th and Martin." "Ok, sounds like fun."
> I recently made a discovery on 9-18-01 and will share it with you
> because I notice that many sci-fi references are on your web site.
> moonmovie.com.
Wait a minute.... you found that site exactly one week after the 9/11
terrorist attacks. I get it now! The moon landings were staged by al
Qaeda! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!
> You're cruising down the freeway and the driver of the car in
> front of you swerves into your lane cutting you off and you have
> to slow down from 35 mph to 33mph. Do you?
E. If you're in Wayland's Mustang, hit the hyperdrive and cruise over
the top of the other guy. Enjoy his shocked expression.
> Ps. When I began writing I was collecting autographs. Then they
> invented the internet, but at least I received a photograph of an
> autograph picture of Mel Brooks directly from Culver City, Ca.
I'm proud of you.
I have no idea what the point of all this was, but it was certainly....
interesting. If you're interested, I'd like to invite you to join our
little group, The World Oligarchy. We, too, like to amuse ourselves with
strange, barely coherent writings and musings, with a little global
conquest and sandwichmaking on the side. If you'd like to join us,
there's a link at the bottom of the main page (and several other places
throughout the website).
--
Brendan, the Duct Tape Avenger, | brendan.dillon@xx.xxxx.xxx
GPG; 1SG, KPS OPC; SC, HQ, SURLI | http://www.holyducttape.com
Bender: "What an awful nightmare! Ones and zeroes everywhere....
and I think I saw a two!"
Fry: "It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two."
-from Futurama
Incidentally, we never heard back from him.