Operation Kick Ass, Part I

(Brendan Dillon)


Bruce Maloney was having a good day. The nuclear bombing of Fort Hood, Texas, by America Online had been a success, in part due to his talking AOL CEO Steve Case into ordering it. He expected the World Oligarchy would surrender within a day in fear of more nukes on more important targets.

Maloney and several other top AOL executives were just returning to their office complex in Dulles, Virginia, after their lunch break. Suddenly, a loud whistling sound came from overhead. Maloney gazed at the sky in horror. "Incoming!!!" he shouted, as he and the other executives dropped to the ground. The artillery round exploded at the base of the complex, sending shrapnel
and debris flying in all directions.

Afterwards, Maloney stoop and realized that several large fragments were imbedded in his upper arm, which explained the shooting pain coarsing through his shoulder. He had been lucky, though; two other execs had not survived.


"The first segment of our artillery assault is a success, sir," General Beck said to Brendan. "Soon we will be ready for phase two."

"Allllllrightythen. Prepare the paratroopers for airborne entry. I will lead the ground assault along with Colonel Schuler."


Within two hours, Gen. Beck had boarded a C-141 aircraft with a unit from the 82nd Airborne Division. All briefings and preparations had been made, and Beck would be the jumpmaster.

The pilots were cleared for takeoff after the launch of several Apache attack helicopters. The plane rose into the air and began flying towards Dulles.

When the Apaches arrived, they fired a Hellfire missile at the AOL offices, destroying one of the buildings that remained after the artillery attack. The pilots noticed a large feild nearby, so they began laying down covering fire to clear it out -- the field became a drop zone. A moment later, the C-141 sailed overhead and 64 Oligarchy soldiers made the jump. A group of AOL forces converged on the drop zone as the airbornes released their chutes. The evil army of America Online put up a strong front, but the red berets were just too much for them; AOL could only spare so many troops, as most were defending their
southern border from the Netscape Liberation Army and Fort Benning's 3rd Infantry Division.

AOL employees watched helplessly as several Blackhawk helicopters approached the remaining office complexes. Air Assault soldiers from 101st Airborne rappelled down onto roofs and balconies, sieging the buildings.

And, just in case, Lt. Col. Abraski led the 1st Mosquito Combat Group in to ensure that AOL is the only bunch of bloodsucking insects the Army need worry about.


Beck led the airborne soldiers to find cover to defend from the AOLers. The Apaches' cover fire had left some large holes in the ground; many of the paratroopers used them as temporary foxholes.

Command Sergeant Major William Romero strolled over to Gen. Beck, miraculously not being hit by bullets flying back and forth. "Excuse me, but what am I supposed to be doing?" asked the confused NCO, who had lost all of his memory due to AOL's attempt at biological warfare.

"See those guys over there? Shoot at them."

"Ah. Is that what this long black thing is for?" Romero asked, indicating his M16.

"Yeah, it's called a rifle. See this little piece here? That's a trigger. If you squeeze it with your finger, it shoots a bullet out of the skinny end."

"Like this?" Romero fired a shot randomly into the air, hitting an air assault troop on a window washer platform.

"Hey, shoot at *them!*" Beck pointed at the AOL soldiers.

"Ok. I think I'm getting the hang of this now." CSM Romero accidentally switched his rifle to three-round burst and emptied his magazine, mowing down at least a third of the enemy forces.

"Good work, Sergeant Major," the General told Romero after the remaining AOL troops surrendered. "You may even get a Silver Star for that."

"Hey, someone should wake those guys up with the red stuff on them. It's shooting time."


"Rebel One, this is Sandwich One," Brendan called to the NLA's Col. Schuler over the radio.

"This is Rebel One, over."

"Roger, suggest we catch the bulk of the enemy in a crossfire. My people to the south, yours to the west, over."

"Roger that, Sandwich One," Schuler replied as another Hellfire cruised overhead. "Repositioning now, Rebel One out."

Schuler led his Netscape resistance fighters to shift over, trapping most of AOL's forces between two groups of aggressives. America Online had massed a large army in secret, but it was no match for the NLA and the Oligarchy Army's 3rd Infantry.

A soldier with an M203 grenade launcher blew out a small shed where AOL was attempting an ambush. Brendan picked off the remaining enemies with his Kill-O-Zap laser rifle. "Advance!" he shouted, ordering the grunts to the next AOL stronghold.

Eventually the enemy troops raised a white flag. Brendan and Schuler called a cease-fire and met with an AOL Major under truce.

"Are you prepared to surrender?" Brendan asked the major.

"Not quite. But Mr. Case would like to speak with you in person. We will remain under truce throughout the meeting."

"Steve Case? CEO of America Online?"

"Exactly."

"Fine then," Brendan decided. "I'll meet with him."

TO BE CONTINUED.....


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