RALEIGH: On October 2, 1997, two days after her assignment to the position of Minister of Pseudo-Sock Puppets, Prophet, J.G. Bevin Conners brutally murdered Je Suis Bleu, a high-ranking tent bag puppet. The details are quite disturbing, and those with a weak stomach should skip the rest of this paragraph. Conners used a pair of children's scissors to cut Bleu's cord into several pieces. She then cut his body in half, and ripped one half into shreds by hand and with the scissors. Then, she wrapped the shreds into the other half of Bleu's body, and tied it closed with what was left of the cord.
Due to the violent nature of his death, Bleu's spirit was unable to rest, and he now haunts Conners' backpack as J'été Bleu. When Bleu was asked for comment, he merely responded, "Âllo."
-The Disassociated Press