On the day of 14 October 2000, a group of high-ranking Oligarchy
officials encountered a major nuisance at the wedding of Co-Ruler
of the World Wayland Phillips. This nuisance has come to be known
only as The Kid With The Rake.
It was immediately decided that something had to be done
to utilize this incredibly destructive (and annoying) force.
Rather than allowing The Kid to further pester us, we shall unleash
him upon our enemies, namely the citizens of Quebec, Canada.
Motives:
Quebec sucks monkey ass.
The Kid is really fucking annoying.
Chaos is fun.
To get him the hell out of the country.
Why the fuck not?
Training:
The Kid will be conscripted from his mother and placed in
a secret training camp run by Prophet Verstüken-Class Paul Pulley,
location classified.
Training will include infiltration, and use of weapons other
than a rake.
He will be given a post-hypnotic suggestion that all French-speaking
people really want to plaaaay.
Also, a caffiene tank will be surgically installed in his
back which will have a direct feed into his bloodstream, which
will keep The Kid hyped up day and night for up to three months.
Once the caffiene runs out, three months of missed sleep will
catch up with him, rendering him unable to resist retrieval.
Plan:
The Kid With The Rake shall be flown via military transport,
caged and in packaging marked "Biohazard," to a few
miles on the U.S. side of the Maine-Quebec border. A number of
conscripted Belgians have been digging a tunnel under the border,
leading to the city of Quebec's sewer system. The tunnel will
be sealed along the border upon delivery to prevent The Kid's
return.
After a period of three months, The Kid With The Rake will
be retreived by a team of Oligarchy Green Berets smuggled in
by the OCB.
Notes:
While Operation Fall Leaves was being written, Paul Pulley
was engaging in the Art of Verstuken.
