ATTEMPTED THEFT, ATTEMPTED KIDNAPPING, ACCESSORY TO
KIDNAPPING, HARASSMENT AND ATTEMPTED MUTILATION

EVIL TREES THAT STEAL YOUR HAIR

 

 Aliases: None.

DESCRIPTION

 Date of Birth: Various  Nationality: Plant Kingdom
 Place of Birth: Various  Occupation: Trees
 Sex: Asexual  Remarks: Beware of low branches.

CAUTION

The Evil Trees are wanted for attempted theft and attempted mutilation of a major Oligarchy figure. On numerous occasions at Enloe High School, Raleigh, NC, the trees attempted to steal hair from Co-Ruler of the World Wayland Phillips. Several years later, the trees attempted to kidnap Wayland's daughter, Emily Jane. They also participated in the kidnapping of several musicians while working as henchtrees for Alanis Morisette. Last known location, the Evil Space Mall.

CONSIDERED BRANCHED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

If you have any information concerning these plants, please contact your local Oligarchy Criminal Bureau office.

REWARD

The OCB is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading directly to the arrest of the Evil Trees That Steal Your Hair.

January 2003

NOTICE: The Oligarchy Criminal Bureau has no affiliation with the FBI or any related organization.

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