Application to become a soldier
in Paul's Army of Drunken Rednecks

(by Scorpion)

Name: (check appropriate box)

(_) Billy-Bob	(_) Darlene
(_) Billy-Joe	(_) Jolene
(_) Billy-Ray	(_) Betty Jo
(_) Billy-Tom	(_) Betty Rae
(_) Billy-Rob	(_) Ellie Jo
(_) Billy-John	(_) Ellie May

Age (if known): ____
Sex: ____ M ____ F ____ N/A
Shoe Size: (Left) ____ (Right) ____

Occupation:
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic/ Truck Driver
(_) Burger flipper
(_) Moonshiner
(_) Skinhead

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Spouse's Name: _______________________

Relationship with spouse: (check all that apply)

(_) Sister	(_) Brother
(_) Aunt	(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin	(_) Mother
(_) Father	(_) Son
(_) Daughter	(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ____
Number that are yours: ____

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_) own or (_) rent your trailer? (Check appropriate box)

____ Total number of vehicles you own
____ Number of vehicles that still crank
____ Number of vehicles in front yard
____ Number of vehicles in back yard
____ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Number of firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
____ still

NRA membership number: _____________

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194__

Do you have a gun rack? (_) Yes (_) No; please explain:
___________________________________________

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

(_) The Truth	(_) Exposure
(_) Soap Opera Digest	(_) TV Guide
(_) Guns and Ammo	(_) Star Enquirer
(_) Field and Stream	(_) Hustler

____ Number of times you've seen a UFO
____ Number of times you've seen Elvis
____ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable

Colour of teeth:

(_) Yellow	(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown	(_) Black
(_) N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_) Copenhagen
(_) Red-Man
(_) Skoal

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) don't know

When completed, please mail application to:

Death Inc. (Military Department)
The Fortress of Doom
Raleigh, NC, USA

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