Devils and enemies of THE TRUE RELIGION:

How could faces like these not be evil?

• Canadians, French, and Belgians. (Particularly Jean Chretien, formerly Prime Minister of Canada [see the Hail to the Oligarchy Trilogy]).
• Those Fruit Of The Loom fruit guys. [Most people wouldn't think of them as satanic, but haven't you ever noticed that they always ride near your butt?]
• Bill Gates (Microsoft Chairman), despite his assistance in the AOL War.
• Steve Case (AOL CEO).
• Sam Walton.
• Rick Berman and Brannon Braga.
• Kathy Lee Gifford.
• Telemarketers (banned in the World Oligarchy).
• Manufactured Boy Bands.
• Newt Gingrich, Jesse Helms, and Strom Thurmond. [No explanation is necessary.]
• Dennis Rodman and his cronies.
• Anyone who gives away the ending to a suspense or twist-ending movie, such as "The Usual Suspects."
• Bert, the bad apple among the Muppets.
• Macaulay Culkin.
• Barbra Streisand (a.k.a. Mecha-Streisand).
• Michael Eisner.
• Bobo, the merciless assassinating chimp.
• John Stamos.
• Kevin Sorbo.
• John Ashcroft.
• Akiva Goldsman.
• Stephen Ratliff, author of the Star Trek Marissa travesties. [Note: the link does not go to a page with his stories exactly, but MSTings of his stories. Many have been hospitalized while attempting to read his stories straight. MSTings are the only way to perceive the full force of their crappiness and survive.]
• Michael Bolton and Kenny G.
• Bill Clinton. Our problem with Klinton is not that he is a dumb, inbred, redneck who breaks the law on a whim and insults the very ideals of the great nation in which our head prophets were born, the United States, but that he, with the power of said nation behind him, gets caught!! This is analogous to being heavily armed with nuclear weapons and being overrun by third graders.
• Barney and the Teletubbies (excluding Tinky-Winky).
• The Toyota of Durham advertising department.
• Dan Tropea.
• The Pope. He is another who is rarely seen as satanic but most do not know about what he really does with that big pointy hat. It's actually used to poke people's eyes out and stuff. We have pictures. (There are other things he does with the hat, but this is a family webpage.) He was also a personal enemy of Cronan's; ol' JP spent years trying to kill him.

Supposedly a Canadian safety symbol, the Canuck equivalent of Smokey the Bear. But he sure looks scary to me.

Throw some pies at the evil Bill Gates! (Created by The Imposter) piegates.exe, 493K

Blasphemous stuff: [Nothing in the following list is permitted for use by a TRUE RELIGIONist, usually. Several Prophets have violated this list quite blatantly so I wouldn't worry too much about it.]

1. Gaffer's tape [Duct tape's evil twin]
2. Hundred-Mile-An-Hour tape [gaffer's tape that wishes it was duct tape]
3. Blue Palmolive soap, pots and pans version. [Deadly to three-inch tall blue elves.]
4. Evil Trees that steal your hair.
5. Bosnian mosquitoes.
6. The year 1999.
7. Harrelson Hall at NC State University.
8. Most "reality" TV shows.
9. Pokémon.
10. Shari's socks (Not really blasphemous, just highly toxic.) [Shari is Cronan's sister.]
11. Riverdance.
12. The Holland Tunnel in New York City.
13. The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA).
14. The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA).
15. Microsoft Windows
16. The Satellite Dish From Hell, Camp Comanche, Bosnia.
17. Macintoshes.
18. Star Trek: Voyager and Enterprise.
19. Records Management.
20. The Pontiac Aztek, Scion XB, and Honda Element.
21. Mrs. Cooper's classroom at Enloe High School.

One of our Goddesses, Janeane Garofalo, describes the true nature of evil. jg-evil.mov, 1.9MB
(Courtesy of Comedy Central)

Companies that are completely evil:

1. Microsoft
2. America Online (Read about The World Oligarchy's 1998 war against AOL.)
3. Yahoo! (Find out just one of the reasons why they're evil.)
4. Clear Channel Communications
5. Compaq
6. Traffic Magnet
7. Apple Computers
8. Viacom
9. Angelfire
10. CyberPromotions (Shut down for good.)
11. Capital Broadcasting Company (CBS)
12. The WB Network
13. McDonald's
14. Disney

Evil Movies:

1. Supernova
2. Supernova
3. Pokemon: The First Movie
4. Dracula Rising
5. Nearly anything made by Disney
6. Master of Disguise
7. Supernova

Unholy Foods

1. Spam
2. Anything in an aerosol can (with the exception of whipped cream).
3. Cheez Whiz
4. Pickled Pig's Feet
5. Public school cafeteria food
6. Pork rinds
7. Any meat-like product ending in the word "loaf" (pimento loaf, luncheon loaf, and of course, meatloaf.)
8. Boiled Ham (except on omelettes)
9. Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food
10. McDonald's (except during breakfast)
11. Anything that someone felt the word 'food' needed to be added to in order to distinguish it from rubber.
12. Dog
13. Handi-Snacks
14. Anything made by members of the Fat Free Conspiracy or Carb Free Conspiracy
15. Liver

Fallen From Grace: (This list includes people who once did deeds or created works worthy of Godhood in TTR, but in the years since, have dropped sharply in quality and their continued work merely tarnishes their previous efforts. They are not necessarily evil, but should be avoided at all costs for your own safety.)

• George Lucas

• J. Michael Straczynski (JMS)

Oligarchy Marines set the evil Canadian flag straight at the 1992 World Series.

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