THE TRUE RELIGION has many holidays, and since they are religious holidays, your workplace or school cannot object to your taking a day off to celebrate them. The origins of some of these holidays can be found in our comprehensive historical timeline of The World Oligarchy and THE TRUE RELIGION.
July 24, December 10, October 22, and November 12 are the main holidays, called Brendan Day, Cronan Day, Wayland Day and Jason Day respectively. They are celebrated because the birth of our Head Prophets and Co-Rulers of the World occurred on these dates. Gifts given to these Prophets on their respective holidays will be happily accepted.
March 21 is Oligarchy Reunification Day. The Treaty of Brendan's House (see Holy Texts) was signed on this day in 1998, officially making The World Oligarchy what it is today.
May 16 is the Feast Day of Saint Brendan, an old Irish abbot and missionary who lived during the years of 484 to 577. He led 17 monks across the Atlantic in The Voyage of Saint Brendan the Abbot, a medeival Irish epic (which I've never read and don't plan to but at least the title is good). Although a Christian abbot, he is celebrated in THE TRUE RELIGION because he has a really cool name.
May 25th is Towel Day, a celebration of the life and works of Douglas Adams, author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series and other books. Originally declared by Binary Freedom, Towel Day was quickly recognized as an official holiday in THE TRUE RELIGION. Observing the holiday is simple: carry a towel everywhere you go for one day, because as it was said by Adams himself, "A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have." The date of May 25th was chosen due to the fact that it takes place two weeks exactly after the death of Douglas Adams; in future years, the date may be changed (though that will be up to Binary Freedom, not us). For more information on Towel Day, please visit the following link:
April 4 is Brokaw Day. On April 4, 1997, Tom Brokaw, Little Bob, and Pimp-Bot 5000 joined forces and became the Brokaw Team, in order to combat the evils of Dennis Rodman and his cronies.
April 6 is a holy day of inspiration. Unlike most major religions, we have a specific date when our religion was edittted and prouf-red.
June 9 is the Day of Forty-Two. On June 9, 1998, THE TRUE RELIGION's forty-second member was admitted to the list of Prophets.
September 20 is the Day of Return. Created in memory of Head Prophet Brendan Dillon's return from an undercover mission for the World Oligarchy in Bosnia (under the guise of a US Army deployment) on Sept. 20, 1999, the Day of Return is a holiday for all to return to their origins and to their old friends and wreak havoc.
November 1 is Cronan Thompson Memorial Day. Our good friend and Head Prophet, Cronan Thompson, died of Hodgkin's disease on this date in 1999. Members of THE TRUE RELIGION, especially those who knew Cronan personally, can remember him by wearing a strip or roll of duct tape somewhere on their person (visible or concealed), since the Holy Duct Tape was Cronan's original contribution to THE TRUE RELIGION. Also, please visit our Online Tribute to Cronan Thompson at any time.
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December 25, or Christmas, is celebrated in THE TRUE RELIGION for completely different reasons. For us, it has nothing to do with Jesus or any other Christian person/figure/event/ideal, but instead is a celebration of Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
December 31 is, of course, New Years Eve. Members of THE TRUE RELIGION are well-known for their parties. View New Year's Party Photos from 1999 and 2000.
The first Tuesday after the first Monday of November is election day in the United States. More of our secret members are elected to high office every year.
The 32nd of each month is also a holy day. They are days to celebrate the great discovery of underwear and what they have done for all mankind.