Important notice about the South Park Movie

Some people may wonder why THE TRUE RELIGION would designate South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut as an official Holy Movie, given the movie's very pro-Canadian message, and THE TRUE RELIGION's prompt anti-Canadian stance. Well, it's holy because it kicks ass. Of course. As for the Canada stuff, that is easily explained. This message was sent as top secret information soon after the movie was released, by our Official Scapegoat, Prophet Junior Grade Matt Brown. The message is now declassified.

Reply-to: truereligion@egroups.com
To: truereligion@egroups.com
From: mtbrown@intrex.net
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 20:36:58
Subject: [truereligion] O Canada!

Update for all people in the Oligarchy:

I have had a meeting with all my underlings, all 1 of them, this past year. The result of these exhausting meetings have resulted in the contacting of the makers of South Park and, using some legal and illegal procedures, caused them to modify the plot of the movie. The original plot called for Cartman's mom to cause a war with Mexico. As we all know, however, the best booze comes from Mexico, as well as all the cannon fodder we use in our AOL wars. My elite team of people have caused the script to be changed. I will not go into detail because this line of communication is not secure. Even as we speak, the public opinion is changing against Canada. My Team fought long and hard for a war with France, but the makers of the movie would not hear of it. My powers as official Scapegoat only go so far... As we all know, France still has a major hold in Canada. Most people don't know that the end of South Park, the movie, was not meant only to be funny but also to be a re-creation of a battle. With all the people dying, being torn to pieces and maiming going on by AOL, France has almost been forgotten. They almost won a battle against our best forces of the ignored worst of the worst of the Worst (SIR!) scapegoat forces. However we were triumphant in our struggle. Canada is no longer a threat, but the battle WAS all my fault.

Matt
Official Scapegoat

If this communiqué is read by anyone, they must immediately shoot themselves to keep it a secret. Myself included. DAMN!

The Problem

Matt's best efforts did lead to a war with Canada in the South Park movie, but he screwed it up completely. All in all, the script ended up supporting the Canadian people. They even had the gall to use the word "innocent" in relation to Canadians. The creators of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, are Senior-Class Gods in THE TRUE RELIGION, but somehow they have been corrupted by Canadian forces. We suspect it happened soon before the release of the Terrance and Phillip "Not Without My Anus" TV special. But that's neither here nor there; the point is, of course, it's all Matt's fault.

The damage may never be repaired, but information is the key. Never misconstrue our endorsement of South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (which, as I said before, kicked much ass) as pro-Canadian sentiment.

"Blame Canada!"
-Sheila Broslofski

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