Subject: Re: Banners wed Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2000 20:58:37 -0400 From: Antifrance <firstname.lastname@example.org> Organization: The World Oligarchy -- http://ducttape.simplenet.com Message-ID: <email@example.com> Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv, alt.fan.tom-servo, alt.fan.mrclean Lori wrote: > >In article <eul7#gfHAHA.279@cpmsnbbsa07>, "mnmarko" > ><firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote: > > > >> "Don't write checks your ASS can't cash" > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > > Antifrance, has your Ass had any experience with cashing checks? MY ASS GOES TO THE PX (A fable of financial fumbling and frantic flatulence) My ass was at home at Fort Bragg's officer housing when it realized it was out of p00pie paper, so it drove to the Post Exchange. After selecting a six-roll package of Ribo's finest three-ply, it trudged down the first available aisle and pulled its checkbook from its "pocket." It rushed to fill out the check -- military stores require you to practically write your life story on each check (oh, the hijinks that ensued when my ass applied for its own Social Security number! But that's another story) -- handed it to the cashier, and left. The p00pie paper problem was solved.... or so it thought. My ass was sure that its direct deposit paycheck would show up in its bank account before the check cleared. Unfortunately, it was mistaken. In the military, bad checks are reported to your unit, so within days, my ass was in the company commander's office. "Lieutenant Antifrance's Ass, I'm dissapointed in you," said the commander. "You're my executive officer, and you should be setting the example for the soldiers." "I should have transferred more money from savings to checking, sir," my ass replied. "Yes, you should have." The commander sighed. "It's a sad day for America when soldiers don't even have the money for p00pie paper. Why didn't you just sign for some at Supply?" "I can't use that one-ply stuff, it irritates my face." "I see. Well, don't let it happen again." "It won't, sir," my ass replied. It saluted, did an about-face and walked out. .....Many books have plot holes, but it's worst of all if it's a checkbook. -- Brendan Dillon (aka Antifrance), GPG; 1SG, KPS OPC email@example.com http://ducttape.simplenet.com Blackhawk: [as the elevator hit Floor 15] "Who's 15?" Girl with SO: "I am, but he thinks I'm 19." -at ChiCon
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