My Ass Goes To Mars

From the My Ass: A Real American Hero Series

(Brendan Dillon, aka Antifrance)

Subject:      Re: Why would they attack the Mars lander?
Date:         Mon, 06 Dec 1999 16:11:41 -0500
From:         Antifrance <>
Organization: The Ebony Ass Consortium
Message-ID:   <>

Dan Tropea wrote:
> Also and maybe its just me but could this have anything
> to do with the Face on Mars? It just looks a bit too
> detailed to be just a natural rock formation.

One day, my ass had just returned from its tour in Kosovo
and it decided to apply for NASA. It was immediately
accepted, of course; its military experience combined with
its incredibly high GT scores made it a shoo-in. After
many months of hard training, my ass was assigned as a
flight technician on the first Mars mission.

The trip went well, and soon my ass was the first body part
to set foot on Mars! It was incredible honor. After a while
my ass passed the Face on Mars.

"Hey, asshole!" said the Face.

"Who was that?" my ass replied.

"Over here!"

My ass noticed the Face and went over to investigate. "Hey,
how did you get here?"

"Dig me up! Please!"

So it grabbed a convenient shovel and dug up the Face, and
soon revealed none other than..... Dan Tropea! My ass let
out a fart of fear and raced back to the space shuttle.
NASA cancelled the Mars project and vowed that mankind
would never travel to the Red Planet again.

......My ass has been to Mars, but I went to Boston once.

Brendan Dillon,
General Purpose God -==- ICQ: 3129266

"...All I'm saying is that Tipper
Gore looks a lot like the Y2K Bug."
        - Cronan Thompson

Go to the Kamikaze Peep Squad.

Return to The Duct Tape Avenger.