From: email@example.com Subject: Things We Learned From Sleepy Hollow Date: 21 Nov 1999 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,rec.arts.movies THINGS WE LEARNED FROM SLEEPY HOLLOW (Dedicated to Plain and Simple Cronan) by Brendan Dillon, Jason Smith, and Matt Brown 1. Christopher Walken's head is all-powerful. 2. Witches enjoy really kinky, violent sex. 3. Dead bodies have high blood pressure. 4. When numerous severed heads are buried under a tree, the tree will have high blood pressure. 5. Christopher Walken could have played the Kurgan. 6. When a dead horseman arises, his sword automatically duplicates. 7. Witches have James Bond Villain Syndrome. Once the hero (or his girlfriend) is trapped, they will proceed to reveal their entire plan to them. 8. According to the Puritans, the turn of the millenium happened 200 years early. 9. Every house should have a trap door leading to a non-existant basement just in case a headless horseman drops by and knocks REALLY loudly. 10. Churches really are torture chambers after all. 11. Iron maidens are water tight (and blood tight). 12. Chiropractic chairs have come a long way in the last 200 years. 13. Witches have huge..... tracts of land. 14. The true measure of love from someone you just met the other day is when they draw an evil eye under your bed. 15. Spell books are bulletproof. 16. Ichabod Crane had even nerdier glasses than the ones the Army gave me in Basic Training. 17. Headless horsemen are even more persistant than the T-1000. 18. When evil people are buried next to trees, the roots will avoid his grave at all costs in order to ensure he's easy to dig up. 19. A witch's head doesn't have room for both a possesing spirit and two eyeballs. 20. When a town guard is chased out of his tower, he will not run into town, where he may be able to find someone to help him. Instead, he will run into the barren woodland that no one dare enter in the first place. 21. People who bring laser pointers to movie theaters should have their heads chopped off by the headless horseman. --- Brendan Dillon (aka BlackOps), General Purpose God email@example.com -==- ICQ: 3129266 http://ducttape.simplenet.com "...All I'm saying is that Tipper Gore looks a lot like the Y2K Bug." - Cronan Thompson
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