From: email@example.com Subject: The Y2K Conspiracy (with Communist Pudding!) Date: 18 Nov 1999 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: <firstname.lastname@example.org> Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo Friends, I have uncovered new evidence regarding the globally feared Year 2000 Bug. Apparently it was started by none other than the thing on Mikhail Gorbachev's forehead (heretofore known as the Gorbachev Forehead Thing [GFT]). You heard it here first. The GFT has been working for decades towards it own goal of world domination, sometimes independent of Gorbachev himself, sometimes together. Some information may indicate that the GFT is the reincarnated form of Josef Stalin, though there is no direct evidence of this. The GFT's first goal is to trick the entire world into eating its culinary creation known as Communist Pudding. (You may or may not have noticed that the GFT resembles a large, red pudding stain.) This Commie Pudding will come in flavors such as Red Strawberry, Red Banana and Red Chocolate. Communist Pudding tastes just like any other pudding, but it contains an undetectable chemical, which affects a section of the human brain known as the "medulla communata," leading to a higher propensity towards Communist thoughts and opinions. This goal led to the Y2K Bug in the early 80's, when a group of top computer executives were considering the possibility of a problem around 2000. When CNN wasn't looking, the GFT snuck off and joined a meeting on the subject. It went something like this: IBM EXEC: We should give computers an extra two bytes of memory for the year, so we can fit all four digits. GFT: Let's not. IBM EXEC: Well... if you say so. Obviously this plan was thought out well in advance. Once the seeds were sown, it was only a matter of time. If the Y2K Bug goes according to plan, communications worldwide will be cut. Transportation will be halted. Shipping lines will be severed. There will be no way for food to be brought from manufacturer to consumer -- which means, NO PUDDING. But, alas, in the midst of disaster, the Gorbachev Forehead Thing will be there, peddling his Communist Pudding, which people will eat because it will be the only food available. Those who refuse to eat Communist Pudding and become fellow Commies will starve, possibly to death. Soon the earth will be awashed with Commie sentiments, and the GFT will be hailed as Supreme Ruler of Communist Earth. The preceding writings may be utter bullshit but the phrase "Communist Pudding" sure is fun to say..... --- Brendan Dillon, General Purpose God email@example.com -==- ICQ: 3129266 http://ducttape.simplenet.com "...All I'm saying is that Tipper Gore looks a lot like the Y2K Bug." - Cronan Thompson
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