The Y2K Conspiracy


Subject:    The Y2K Conspiracy (with Communist Pudding!)
Date:       18 Nov 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <80vqm9$tjt$>

Friends, I have uncovered new evidence regarding the globally feared
Year 2000 Bug. Apparently it was started by none other than the thing on
Mikhail Gorbachev's forehead (heretofore known as the Gorbachev Forehead
Thing [GFT]). You heard it here first. The GFT has been working for
decades towards it own goal of world domination, sometimes independent
of Gorbachev himself, sometimes together. Some information may indicate
that the GFT is the reincarnated form of Josef Stalin, though there is
no direct evidence of this.

The GFT's first goal is to trick the entire world into eating its
culinary creation known as Communist Pudding. (You may or may not have
noticed that the GFT resembles a large, red pudding stain.) This Commie
Pudding will come in flavors such as Red Strawberry, Red Banana and Red
Chocolate. Communist Pudding tastes just like any other pudding, but it
contains an undetectable chemical, which affects a section of the human
brain known as the "medulla communata," leading to a higher propensity
towards Communist thoughts and opinions.

This goal led to the Y2K Bug in the early 80's, when a group of top
computer executives were considering the possibility of a problem around
2000. When CNN wasn't looking, the GFT snuck off and joined a meeting on
the subject. It went something like this:

IBM EXEC: We should give computers an extra two bytes of memory for the
year, so we can fit all four digits.

GFT: Let's not.

IBM EXEC: Well... if you say so.

Obviously this plan was thought out well in advance. Once the seeds were
sown, it was only a matter of time. If the Y2K Bug goes according to
plan, communications worldwide will be cut. Transportation will be
halted. Shipping lines will be severed. There will be no way for food to
be brought from manufacturer to consumer -- which means, NO PUDDING.

But, alas, in the midst of disaster, the Gorbachev Forehead Thing will
be there, peddling his Communist Pudding, which people will eat because
it will be the only food available. Those who refuse to eat Communist
Pudding and become fellow Commies will starve, possibly to death. Soon
the earth will be awashed with Commie sentiments, and the GFT will be
hailed as Supreme Ruler of Communist Earth.

The preceding writings may be utter bullshit but the phrase "Communist
Pudding" sure is fun to say.....

Brendan Dillon,
General Purpose God -==- ICQ: 3129266

"...All I'm saying is that Tipper
Gore looks a lot like the Y2K Bug."
        - Cronan Thompson

Go to the Kamikaze Peep Squad.

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