Ok, for those of you who get all confused at the sight of a wackylace, here's the guide:
>> means this line is part of Captain Infinity's original post.
> means that Blackhawk inserted this line in the first wackylace.
Lines with no brackets are part of Brendan's double-wackylace.
Subject: Re: YUMme update Date: Tue, 23 Nov 1999 23:09:49 -0500 From: Antifrance <firstname.lastname@example.org> Organization: The Ebony Ass Consortion Message-ID: <383B650C.FD62B1F5@yahoo.com> Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo Blackhawk wrote a small portion of the following: >In article <email@example.com>, >Captain Infinity wrote *some* of these things: >> THANK YOU Mr. HOLE! YOU ARE MY FAVORITE WEBTVer! PLEASE LOL AT MORE OF MY >LAME REMARKS!1!! CUM SEE WHAT A CUNNING LINGUIST I ALREADY AM IN THESE WORDS I MADE WITH MY ALPHA-BITS! I'LL PUT THEM ON USENET. IF YOU READ MY >> POSTS, I WILL KISS YOU LONG TIME! >> I would just like to announce that I think the "YUMme update" wackylace is >flawed because I didn't sign it "Black Cap", if I did this would have made it a black magic marker. But I like light blue Crayola markers, this one is >> one of my BESTEST EVER!! It makes me laff and laff to think of Blackheads >on my ass, I need to get out more often. I think I'll call Mr. Hole, maybe I can use his peach-colored marker to cover them up. I often dream that >> blackjacking his mom upside the noggin and stuffing her into the stewpot, >will cause him to take "stock" in me again. I fantasize about him kissing me, and passionately picking the blackheads off of my ass, flicking them away, >> then bending over a mirror to snort some blow up his nose. HA! HA! HA! >(snip) >> I think this wackylace deserves some kind of special recognition, so I >was happy until I saw the only follow-up to this note was from Dan. Still, I beleive his picture is fake, he really does look look like Judge Doom. I >> suggest that everyone who laughed at it should forward it to >to a friend. then there could be *three* of us! Send your follow-ups to a drunken bum named Steve. Sometimes he hangs out on alt.exploding.kibo and >> alt.humor.best-of-usenet. And then send me money. I like the new crisp >feeling of money jammed in my ass. I haven't been so stimulated since my last payday; I took my check to the shadier alleys, hoping the girls are in their >> twenties. (But no quarters; I'm sick of seeing the buns on the backside of >the toilet shitting copper. This problem is really much worse if you use nickel rolls to shove up your asshole. I find it's more stimulating to use >> the Georgia quarters. PR0NOGRAPHIC! it is.) >> I would also like to announce that the other day I had a series of PC >GIF's of naked dogs eating Mr. Holes cookies. The ejaculate caused a series of gaskets blown, IYKWIM. But I regained my bearings only to witness several >> crashes that trashed much of my aft-s archive; I lost approximately 8000 >SPAMS offering HOT SEXXXX ON THE NET!!! This is the result of all those alt.sex newsgroups enticing me to "CUM ON IN!!!11" Because of this, I haven't written many >> posts. Everything from middle-May to present was poofed (and that includes >the times I was poofing the infamous "Sweet Ebony Ass" last mentioned in Dan's eloquent eulogy of Nanorc. Unfortunately, I missed the majority of >> Cronan's last posts, the announcement of his passing, and the remembrances.) >> This has bummed me out big time. I'm glad that Brendan has put together >a posse to hunt my ass down. All those good vigilante tactics and he has his own ass to help him, which has more combat experience. He has also made >> such an excellent website about Cronan. >I want to bear his children. >> This crash also affected my own website, because I was in the middle of >masturbating and everything has a sort of white film on it, this happened whilst eating Alpha-Bits and shoving a purdy $20 bill up my ass. I've been thinking of >> updating my wackylace page, on and off. If you have posted a wackylace in >the last week thats good for masturbating, I want it. If you've done one in blue magic marker, that's even better. But more importantly, if you wrote one in >> the last six months and want it included on my wackylace page, you'll need >to know how to get inside my "inbox" (giggle), take the time with your weenie and a dollar bill, you just won't beleive the feeling. Take pictures of it >> to forward it to me from your outbox. I do have a lot of overlap for that >weenie cause my "IB" has "urgency" settings IYKWIM! I often sleep during the conversations between sex scenes on my favorite pr0n tapes. I don't remember the >> time period on the newsreader in at work, but working on my webpage while at >"Master Bates" is hard to hide from my cow orkers, this can mean that often my cows are already orked. Sometimes I include them in masturbation, but doing it at >> work is a tricky proposition. >> I would also like to announce that, unlike this same time last year, I AM >NO LONGER DRESSING IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES! I'M AMAZED MR. HOLE AND I ARE BEYOND THAT STAGE AND READY TO ADMIT OUR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER! BTW, I'M >> NOT IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION! YAY! GIMME A HIGH FIVE! WOO HOO HOO! >> I would also like to announce that I do not have any binary photos of myself >shitting copper into the toilet or masturbating while working on my web site but I used to have GIFs of my ass stuffed with 20's. I deleted all of them >> (except the ones that appear on Chris Masto's ARKPLE page) so for now Hole's >phone sex stories about elephants and peanut butter told while I look at my soiled cash will be ignored. I'll let him tell you later. As for his site, that >> photo of Francis Ford Coppola will have to suffice. I do look a little like >an asshole with dentures. Like Harrison Ford...at 80...naked...the back side of a Georgia quarter actually looks like his ass, not Coppola's. I look kinda like >> him, just not as harsh looking. I have softer edges. Plus, he looks drunk >most of time even though he's sober. I often look drunk, but I really am high on several illegal substances right now. I had snorted a line of coke >> in that photo, while I merely look wired. Imagine Coppola staring at you >saying "Dammit the name is Coppola, copulate, from the Latin copulatus" while high on coke. If you're ever looking for me, try to find the guy >> with his hair sticking out, shouting BWA HA HA HAAAAA!, and that'll be me. >> I would also like to announce that I just squashed a mosquito. >But we're leaving my mother out of this. She always gave me the old twenties, which don't feel as good on entry. >> That's all the announcements I have for now. Thank you for your time. >*** >Blackhumor --- Brendan Dillon, General Purpose God firstname.lastname@example.org -==- ICQ: 3129266 http://ducttape.simplenet.com "...All I'm saying is that Tipper Gore looks a lot like the Y2K Bug." - Cronan Thompson
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