Note: Quoting in this post has been deleted for length and anti-context.
From: WWS <email@example.com> Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.tv.real-world Subject: Re: Newsfroup relations Date: Mon, 01 Apr 2002 00:38:54 -0600 Message-ID: <3CA8007E.709D9815@tyler.net> But this is the piece that really stuck me as fitting well: "Gee, Officer Krupke" ANTIFRANCE: Hey you! RUSSELLB: Who me, Officer Krupke? ANTIFRANCE: Yeah you, gimme one good reason for not draggin' ya down the station house, ya punk! RUSSELLB: Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke You gotta understand It's just our bringin' upke That gets us out of hand Our mothers all are junkies Our fathers all are drunks Golly Moses, naturally we're punks ATR-W: Gee, Officer Krupke We're very upset We never had the love That every child oughta get We ain't no delinquents We're misunderstood Deep down inside us there is good RUSSELLB: There is good! ATR-W: There is good, there is good There is untapped good Like inside, the worst of us is good ANTIFRANCE: That's a touching good story RUSSELLB: Lemme tell it to the world! ANTIFRANCE: Just tell it to the judge RUSSELLB: Dear kindly Judge, your Honor My parents treat me rough With all their marijuana They won't give me a puff They didn't wanna have me But somehow I was had Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad PODKAYNE: Right! Officer Krupke You're really a square This boy don't need a judge He needs an analyst's care It's just his neurosis That oughta be curbed He's psychologically disturbed RUSSELLB: I'm disturbed! ATR-W: We're disturbed, we're disturbed We're the most disturbed Like we're psychologically disturbed PODKAYNE: Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home. RUSSELLB: Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived! PODKAYNE: So take him to a headshrinker. You! J.: Who me? RUSSELLB: My daddy beats my mommy My mommy clobbers me My grandpa is a commie My grandma pushes tea My sisters wears a moustache My brother wears a dress Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess J.: Yes, Officer Krupke He shouldn't be here This boy don't need a couch He needs a usefully career Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick RUSSELLB: I am sick! ATR-W: We are sick, we are sick We are sick sick sick Like we're sociologically sick J.: In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease. RUSSELLB: Hey, I got a social disease! J.: So take him to a social worker RUSSELLB: Dear kindly social worker They tell me get a job Like be a soda jerker Which means I'd be a slob It's not I'm antisocial I'm only anti-work Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk WITCH: Eek, Officer Krupke You've done it again This boy don't need a job He needs a year in the pen It ain't just a question of misunderstood Deep down inside he's no good RUSSELLB: I'm no good! ATR-W: We're no good, we're no good We're no earthly good Like the best of us is no damn good ALL: The trouble is he's lazy The trouble is he drinks The trouble is he's crazy The trouble is he stinks The trouble is he's growing The trouble is he's grown Krupke, we've got troubles of our own Officer Krupke, We're down on our knees RUSSELLB 'Cause no one wants a fella With a social disease ATR-W Dear Officer Krupke What are we to do? Gee, Officer Krupke Krup you! -- __________________________________________________WWS_____________ works for me
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