Subject: Lori's Elf Spat Recap, Day One Date: Tue, 31 Jul 2001 16:11:21 GMT From: email@example.com (Lori) Reply-To: loriann_70*NOSPAMfirstname.lastname@example.org Organization: Cubicle #14 Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo NC Elf Spat #2, Day One, Friday July 27, 2001 --------------------------------------------- At 11:00 AM I ditched work (I wasn't doing anything productive anyway) and proceeded to head out to meet Arthur for lunch. I made the mistake of taking what I thought was a shorter route to the interstate, and wound up in some construction delays. Grrr... I finally made it to the exit I needed. I didn't have any directions from that point, because I mistakenly believed that there would actually be some signs pointing me to the Metro station I was to meet Arthur at. WRONG-O! I missed my turn and wound up in some old, run-down neighborhood. Oops. After figuring out how to turn around (too many one-way streets going the wrong way from where *I* wanted to go), I finally found the Metro station. However, the entrance was (of course) not marked, and I circled the damn thing three times before finding it. Jeebus. I found Arthur gazing off into the distance like a lost puppy dog. We proceeded to put his stuff into the car and tried to find a place to park. Just my luck, all the "real" parking places were taken, and all that was left was "15 minute only" parking. Arthur suggested parking near the restaurant. Panic struck me. "Um... does this mean I have to parallel park?" I asked? He answered in the affirmative. Slight problem - Lori cannot parallel park worth beans. (Fortunately it's not required for Virginia drivers' licenses or I'd still have my permit at age 30). So Arthur got to drive Lori's car! We found a spot, parked, fed the meter, and then went to feed ourselves. The restaurant he picked out is a place owned by former Washington Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann (http://www.alexandriaweekly.com/JoeTheismanns.htm). It was a cool place. There was some sort of military retirement lunch going on near us, and we kept hearing a lot of applause from time to time. Arthur kindly refrained from embarassing me by joining in, and for that I thank him. We ordered and shared a bunch of different yummy appetizers. I think my favorite was the potato skins. Arthur started his alcohol consumption early, but since I had to drive I ordered iced tea. I may be a drunk, but I'm a responsible drunk. After lunch we were on our way... The next four and a half hours were a big blur of driving, laughing, parody and other humorous music, yelling at other drivers ("You! You eat out of my butt!!" -Arthur), evil Taet-and-minion scheming, one rest stop, and a partridge in a pear tree. Since Tyler was unable to attend the Spat, we played his "It's Only Me" four-song CD, and a whole bunch of right-wing political parodies, in his honor. We also played some Red Peters songs, including "How's Your Hole... Family?" in honor of our resident Big Fat Liar. The directions Brendan had provided were excellent, and we found the apartment with no problems. Brendan, Wayland, and Bessie were there waiting for us. We spent some time hanging out while we waited for Brendan's GF Tiffany to get off work. I went ahead and changed into my outfit for Rocky Horror, which consisted of a black tank top, and pants with Micky Mouse faces all over them. Bessie mentioned that she had a matching vest, and so I borrowed it to complete the ensemble. Then I got tattooed. Arthur drew a temporary tattoo on my arm just like the one Dr. Frankenfurter had in Rocky Horror. He did a really good job. Hopefully there was a close-up photo taken of it. To reward him for his efforts, I strangled him with a bullwhip. ("I never understood why there's a string at the end..." -Bessie) Gotta keep my minions well-disciplined, you know. Some other stuff happened, but I don't remember all of it. We watched parts of the Rocky Horror DVD, and somewhere in there Jason (aka Kurenai) showed up. Anyhow, we went out to go pick up Tiffany and headed to a place called Lily's for pizza. This is the same place we got pizza at the first NC elf spat. It was goood!! One of the three pizzas was pesto, of course. Then we went next door to Third Place for coffee. I didn't have any, which is unlike me. We then stood outside there talking for what seemed like forever. Arthur had tried to get me to order some of the chocolate cake, but I managed to resist. Then later I broke down when Jason offered me the rest of his. I can't refuse chocolate for long. Arthur changed into his Riff Raff costume, which was really good. And creepy, when he stared at you just so. He gave me the heebie-jeebies, but in a good way. (GYMOTG) Once at the theater, Arthur painted a bloody-looking "V" on my forehead, since I was a Rocky Virgin. When it was time for the Virgin Initiation, Brendan was kind enough to go with me for moral support since he had never participated in it. The Virgin Dance was over before I knew it. Rocky Horror was a fun experience; I highly recommend it. You might get rice thrown into your bra, but it's a small price to pay. We finally got back at some godawful hour of the morning. I got to share the sofa bed with my loyal minion, and Jason slept on the cushions on the floor. And snored. And snored. And SNORED!!! And thus ends my recap for Elf Spat, Day One. Stay tuned for tales of the Sekrit Lasagna Ingredient, muppet porn, and more! ++ Lori
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