How to Make Oatmeal Edible

Thanks to: James D. Thompson

Message-ID:   <>
Date:         Thu, 17 May 2001 17:15:11 -0400
From:         James D Thompson <>
Subject:      Re: Today I did the unthinkable...
Organization: I Realize these Views are Unpopular, but I've Never been
              One to Court Popularity

Lori wrote:
> I know it's good for me, which is why I ate it.  As to the taste...
> that's debatable.  Although, I'm working on ways to make it more
> palatable.

 Okay, here's what you do. First, throw away the "instant oatmeal",
it's pure crap; go buy a can of William Penn. Next, use 100% real milk;
none of that skim, low-fat nonsense. While you're at the store, buy 
some dark corn syrup and some brown sugar (and a bit of maple flavor
if you like that).

 Now, when you make your oatmeal, put a half or 3/4 cup of oats in a
bowl and fill that about 2/3rds of the way with milk. Toss in two big 
spoonfuls of Da Shoogah and a dollop of corn syrup, and stir all that
together. Nuke that for two minutes, toss in another shot of syrup, and
nuke that for another 2 minutes or so. It oughta be getting nice and
thick by now, so let it sit for a few minutes to cool down a bit and
really set up.

 Eat and enjoy. Your colon will thank you.

David Thompson
Any minute now, I expect the villagers to mob my house with pitch forks
and torches.  Fortunately for me, Mac isn't all that bright, so they'll
probably mob the neighbors. 

-Podkayne Fries, 5-10-01

Return to The Kamikaze Peep Squad.

Return to KPS Recipes.