From: Infinity@world.com (Captain Infinity) Subject: Why my bedroon stinks Date: 09 May 2000 00:00:00 GMT Message-ID: <email@example.com> Organization: http://world.std.com/~Infinity Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo Once Upon A Time, In article <o5YR4.firstname.lastname@example.org> Linepithema humile wrote: >In alt.ascii-art holefamily1 <email@example.com> wrote: > >> In article <KX9gwaEcthC5Ew9B@xemu.demon.co.uk>, Dave Bird >> <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote: >> >>> In article<email@example.com>, Captain Infinity >>> <Infinity@world.com> writes: >>> >>> > Kermit Krab sez: >>> > ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~, >>> > (+)(+) | Oh, baby... | >>> > | | ,-----| give me all your | >>> > / \ | HOT CRUSTACEAN LOVE! | >>> > ( ) \ -==- / ( ) `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' >>> > \ \ / / >>> > \ <\/\/\/> / >>> > '-/ \-' >>> > ,--/ \-- >>> > / --| |-- \ >>> > / / --\ /-- \ \ >>> > ()/ / --`----'-- \ \() >>> > ()/ / \ \() >>> > ()/ \() >>> > () () C.I. >>> >>> Small point, but don't all crabs and spiders have >>> exactly 8 legs? >> >> No silly, they have 5 beautiful claws! > >Tasty claws :). This reminds me that I forgot to tell you folks why my bedroom stinks. About a week or so ago, I was in the supermarket shoplif^H^H^Hing, and I see Mark McCauley working behind the seafood counter. (Mark is the younger brother of Jim McCauley, who was a good friend of mine some years ago. Jim and I ran a Frisbee club together in the late '70s, and held & participated in a good number of Freestyle competitions. But I digress.) So I said hi to Mark and asked how things were going and how Jimmy and the rest of the family was and CHRISTMAS CUPCAKES, WHY ARE FISH PRICES SO DAMN HIGH??? I wasn't really in a fish-buying mood (I was actually there to stock up on pet food) but there was this adorable crab in the front, on the ice, behind the glass, that had some excellent looking claws that would make for a nice Kermit. See, here's the thing...I've purchased several Kermit the Frog PEZ dispensers, with plans to eventually turn one of them into a Kermit *Krab* PEZ dispenser. But I never got around to buying a crab for the Klaws ...mainly because I've never thought past the point of having A) the PEZ dispenser and B) crab claws. Past this point is, of course, C) joining the crab claws to the PEZ dispenser. How should this be done? This is where I've always been stumped, so I never moved beyond A. But the crab in the case looked yummy, and had some nice looking claws, so I had Mark scoop it out and weigh it (exactly 1 pound, $2.99) and bag it up for me. I got home and discovered that the nut-crackers were missing, as were the tiny picks needed to scoop out all the meat in an easy fashion, so I set unto the crab with a heavy-handled knife (for whacking and shattering) and a long-tined fork (for scooping). That crab was indeed delicious...but a hell of a lot of work without the right tools. I didn't want to crush the smaller claws, desiring to save them complete for Kermit, but the bigger claws were out of proportion for a PEZ dispenser, so I crushed them and ate the meat inside, yum. Then I discovered that one of the claws in the last pair was missing, so I only had 7 now. Bummer. Kermit needs 10. But I figured I'd get around to buying another crab soon enough (and maybe some nutcrackers, too) so I put the seven smaller claws into an empty box which once held a white-chocolate bunny (50 cents at CVS the day after Easter) and brought it up to my room. After which I completely forgot about it. Until I came home from work a few days later and walked into the room and was hit in the face by the SMELL!! AUGH!! ROTTING CRAB CLAWS!! So I flushed the claws down the toilet. It took several flushes, as these things just didn't want to go. And what a bizarre sight it was to see a handful of crab claws coming up out of the pipe. Scary. I had a momentary impulse to leave them there, in order to frighten the next person to use the bathroom. But I decided not to do that, because I figured it'd probably be *me* the next morning and I'd wet myself, having forgotten about it. So down they went, woosh, and I need to start the project over again from the beginning. So now you know why my bedroom stinks. ** Captain Infinity
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