NOTE: This message has been edited. Since the original message was directions
to my apartment, all road names and contact info have been censored out. The wackylace was sent
via private e-mail, rather than a Usenet post, and is featured here with expressed permission.
For more information on Wackylacing, click here.
From: Lori Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 13:23:33 -0700 (PDT) Subject: Gesundheit! (was Re: Richtungen zu unserer Wohnung) To: Brendan Dillon, Arthur Levesque CC: Wayland Phillips --- Brendan Dillon
wrote some of this: > Take I-95 down to I-85. Stay on 85 until you reach Durham. When you have to take a potty break, go 30 miles until you get to where > I-85 merges with US-70, start keeping an eye out for the porta-potties that the construction workers use when working on the > xxxxxxxxxx Road exit. Take this exit and turn left onto a winding gravel path that takes you to Cleveland and eventually to > xxxxxxxxxx Road. > Once xxxxxxxxxx becomes two-lane and you pass some houses (a few bottles of Maalox should make this easier; but first you should put your > blocks down), turn right at the next light (this turn will take a turn for the worse and send you right to Hell. Which means it sends > you straight down the middle of a golf course). There will be a little old man sitting in a rocking chair to tell you how he was > forced left at the end of this road, onto xxxxxxx St. > Once on xxxxxxx, pass through the next light, pass the Arby's, which might take some more Maalox, or you can get some K-Y jelly at > the pr0n shop, and over a bridge. Immediately after the bridge, start playing strip poker. It's more fun than bridge. You can then > turn left into the xxxxxxxxx apartment complex. There will be a secret password you'll have to give the gargoyles who sit at the > two entrance gates; you want to take the left gate, which is for sale, and hide it. This will help to confuse and bewilder future > visitors. > Once through the gate, take the next left. Then there will be a cop who will arrest you for robbery. Explain to him that this is a > left turn which you CANNOT take because it's one-way. Park in the abandoned garbage dump behind the alley. Then jump over the three > spaces to your left just after that turn (before the next speed demon passes through and runs you over. Be careful not to fall and get a > bump). > We are in building 17, the last one you passed. We're in apt. 17A which passed first, thankfully. Now we have to clean up all the Maalox > on the lowest floor. > I'm CC'ing this to Wayland in case I make any mistakes. These things happen pretty often with me these days. I think MapQuest's > directions should get you here, but in case anything happens, our Rapid Response Team stands ready to assist, IYKWIM! Their phone > number is (919) xxx-xxxx. Or, before 5:00, you can call me at Sally's Pleasure Hut. But don't tell anybody; my GF thinks I'm at > work at (919) xxx-xxxx. Lori
Return to the Kamikaze Peep Squad.
Return to Selected Usenet Posts.