Re: John Edwards, for President?

(Captain Infinity)

Subject:      Re: John Edwards, for President?
Date:         Tue, 07 Jan 2003 13:29:44 -0500
From:         Captain Infinity <>
Message-ID:   <>

Let's pretend that John Iwaniszek wrote:

>Let's look at his background, compared to the Idiot's:
>Edwards: first in his family to gain a college degree (Hmm, he sounds
>like me.) Bush: coasted through Yale on a legacy admission and a solid C
>average. Who says white people don't get any breaks? 

I think we should ignore both men's college credentials. When they say
"it's on your permanent record" they really only mean five years.
Beyond that, life experience is what counts, not grades.

>Edwards: clean criminal record.
>Bush: convicted of drunk driving, sold fake IDs while at Yale, etc.
>Edwards: self-made millionaire
>Bush: drunken lout whose every business venture failed, leaving him...
>even richer! 

Both of them are enterprising Americans, using the capitalist system for
all it's worth. Although it's only a matter of time before they catch
up to Edwards, and prosecute him like they did with Miss Cleo.

>Edwards: Appears to tell the truth on a regular basis.

Now this just *has* to be a joke. Every word out of his mouth is a lie.
His biggest asset is not his "hollywood good looks" as someone else put
it, but the fact that so many people are dumb enough to believe what he
says about talking to the dead. P.T. Barnum would be proud of this
charlatan. He's taking the morons for every penny he can get, and with
luck he'll save enough to pay for a good lawyer on the day Justice
catches up with him.

>Bush: can't help but lie every time he trumpets his oil war. "The Iraq
>Navy is going to invade the US!" "Iraq is weeks away from blowing us
>all up!" Five terrorists just snuck in from Canada!" "Dirty Bombs!" 
>"Yellow alert!" "Whoop whoop whoop!" "Class Warfare! (oops, I'm suppose
>to use that one for the other..uh..thingy.)" 

Bush is doing all he can to make our lives safer. This is an admirable
goal. Plus, he gave me $300. No other president has ever done this.

>So you see, Edwards is clearly the better man. Next!

Sure, if you want to contact your dead Grandpa, and shell out a few
hundred bucks for the experience. Personally, I think my Grandpa was a
pervert and I'll have nothing to do with him. I clearly remember the
day he took off his pants in front of me. YIKES! No kid should have to
go through that. That experience is one of the main reasons I refuse to
wear pants to this very day.

So I vote for Bush. If nothing else, he never took his pants off in
front of me. That's gotta count for something.

Captain Infinity
..."You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands."
--the Red Queen, _Through The Looking Glass_

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