A Night at the Movies

(Sergey Bukhman)

From: Sergey Bukhman <sergeyb@netropolis.net>
Subject: A night at the movies
Date: 22 Nov 1999 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <3838CC86.3E263A49@netropolis.net>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo,alt.religion.kibology

It's 3:15pm. I hear the phone ring and silently pray it's not for me, because then
I'd have to wake up.

It's for me.

My cousin lets me know his mom is picking me up in 15 to 30 minutes for our planned
day at the movies. No problem, I mutter, I'll be ready. 

4:10pm. Against my advice, my cousin buys two tickets to each movie, fearful to risk
being caught ticketless by the all vigilant ticket checkers. He regrets that decision
10 seconds later as he sees that our designated theaters are adjacent. I silently
snicker, as he insisted to pay for me too. 

4:15. The glorious gates of AMC open before us. It's time for Sleepy Hollow.

6:30. Disappointed, we slum out of the theater. The film was pointless. Nice
decapitations, but completely pointless nonetheless. Being as the next movie starts
at 7:35 we decide to walk into something else. After dining on the finest of AMC's
hot-dogs we decide on American Beauty. It's the last 20  minutes, and most of the
audience still hasn't realized the movie is about them. They laugh at every conceivable
opportunity, nervously shifting their eyes about, hoping everyone else are as jovial
as they are. The movie ends, and it chokes me up once again. Later I comment to my
cousin that these people were doing anything they could not to take the movie seriously,
because that would mean they'd have to take a look at their own lives. when all they
wanted is to pass an evening for 8 bucks. He is impressed.

7:15. Seeing as we have 20 more minutes we decide, against better judgment, to check
out Pokemon. You see, I have never seen a Pokemon show or game before. I had no idea
what it was. Well folks, it scared me pantless. We watched the a few minutes of
"Pikachu's vacation" and it was the closest thing to doing drugs without actually
doing them. My eyes glazed over as I slowly drooled, completely mesmerized by the
psychedelic traversity.

7:35. Being John Malkovitch begins.

9:30. Being John Malkovitch ends. It was very strange. I recommend everyone see it,
as it had some understandable moments, but I'm afraid I haven't fully grokked it yet.
It was hilarious at times and very moving at others. All in all it has frigtened
me, after a fashion. We spend half an hour talking about my cousin's life in high
school and about how pointless it all is. I reach the conclusion that going to High
School in the USA is probably one of the traumatic and trying times in a person's
life. After that we watched people making out until my dad picked us up. 

My only regret is that I haven't gone to Fight Club again.

Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave

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