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Subject: Re: Wife mind? (Re: Happy Birthday Tyler) Date: Tue, 06 Aug 2002 08:50:26 -0400 From: Wayland's Ghost <firstname.lastname@example.org> Organization: The League of Dead Scienticians Message-ID: <3D4FC612.B785EB6E@hotmail.com> Newsgroups: alt.fan.tom-servo "Plain, Simple, Blackhawk." wrote: > That would be silly since I long ago expressed that I prefer to use my > voice where I believe it will do some good. Sorry if that still offends > you, but by now I'd think you'd get over that. Ah. So the silent voice speaks the loudest. How very zen? Blackhawk: Approach, KPS Members. Close the circle at the feet of the master. You have come to me asking that I be your guide along the path of Ti Kwan Peep. But, be warned: To learn its ways, you must learn the ways of your own soul. Let us meditate upon this wisdom now. So: Aaaaaaooooommm...... KPS Member1 (Lori): Uh, sir! Sir! (oo! oo!) Sir! Blackhawk: Who disturbs our meditation, as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond? Lori: Me! Lori? Blackhawk: Lori? Lori: Yeah, uh, no disrespect or nothin', but, like, uh, how long is this gonna take? Blackhawk: Ti Kwan Peep is not a path to a door, but a road leading forever towards the horizon. Lori: So like, what, an hour or so? Blackhawk: No, no, we have not even begun upon the path. Lori, you must learn patience. Lori: Yeah yeah yeah, patience. How long will that take? Blackhawk: Time has no meaning. To a true KPS Member, a year is as a day. Lori: A YEAR??? I wanna troll people's asses right now! I got the server! Hah woo yah ooomm! Blackhawk: "Troll people's asses"...? Lori: Yeah! Just show me all those nifty memes so I can start trashing Bozo! That's all I came here for! YO ASTA STA STA!!! Pretty good, ey? Blackhawk: The only use of Ti Kwan Peep is self-preservation. Do you know who said that? Kap Lo Ni, the great Troller. Lori: Yeah? Well the best defense is a good offense, you know who said that? Mel, the cook on "Alice". Blackhawk: No, um...Ti Kwan Peep is the Khan Bud of purity, not the schwag of hostility. Meditate upon this truth with us. Aaaaoooommm... Lori: Listen, liberal! All this weird talk is really starting to hurt my brane. Now, are you gonna show me some fancy memes, or am I gonna start flaming the froup with you? Blackhawk: Lori, you fail to grasp Ti Kwan Peep. Approach me that you might see. Lori: All right! Finally some action! (IYKWIM AITYD) Blackhawk: Observe closely, froup. Peep to the Thread! (SH-ZOOMP!) Lori (drunkenly): Owww! You Peeped me in the Thread! Blackhawk: You are lucky, Lori. Few novices experience so much of Ti Kwan Peep so soon. Lori (quietly, to herself): Ow, oh, my Thread! Blackhawk: Now we continue. Aaaaaoooommmm... Lori: Hey! Hey, I wasn't ready! Come and get me now leftist, huh? Come on, are ya a purple bunny? Blackhawk: Peep to the Thread! (SH-ZOOMP!) Lori (again, drunkenly): Oww! Okay, now I'm ready, okay, now, come on, try it now. Blackhawk: Peep to the Thread! (SH-ZOOMP!) Lori: Mind if I just lie down here for a minute? Blackhawk: Now froup, we shall return to our... KPS Member2: Master? Blackhawk: It is wrong to tip the vessel of knowledge, KPS Member. KPS Member2: Many apologies, master. But I feel Lori is not wholly wrong. Blackhawk: What do you mean? KPS Member2: I want to Peep some Thread, too. Blackhawk: Have you learned nothing from the lesson of Lori? KPS Member2: Yes, master. I have learned two things. First, that anger is a weapon only to one's opponent. Blackhawk: Very good. KPS Member2: And secondly, get in the first shot. Peep to the Thread. (SH-ZOOMP!) Blackhawk: You missed. KPS Member2: Uh, yeah. Well... Blackhawk: You too shall be honored to learn a lesson... KPS Member2: You don't have to, you know. I-I gotta be going... Blackhawk: Peep to the Thread! (SH-ZOOMP!) KPS Member2 : (agonizing pain) Oyyy oy oyyyy.... Oh.... Blackhawk: Can anyone tell us what lesson has been learned here? KPS Member3: Uh, yes, master. Not a single one of us could defeat you. Blackhawk: You gain wisdom, child. KPS Member3: So we'll hafta gang up on ya! Get 'im guys! (Blackhawk throws many 'Peep to the Thread!s' and 'SH-ZOOMP!s'. There are many people groaning in pain.) Blackhawk: And now froup, let us rejoin the mind to the body and gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Unison: Aaaaaoooommm.... Blackhawk: Very good, froup. > > > Oh but wait, we can't have *that*, now can we? > > If you'd add some California cheap shots or Clinton bashing to the irony > maybe you could embarrass me into doing what you want. Probably not > though, if I was that easy to troll I'd post more often. Eh. California and Clinton basing are easy. Blaming Clinton for California's existance is the hard part. Wayland's Ghost ...Dole in 2008!
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