Who is Tom Servo?

(Podkayne Fries)

Subject:      Re: Here, fishie (Was: Re: Would you please stop lying
              and distoring my posts 2
Date:         Wed, 09 Aug 2000 02:45:16 GMT
From:         fred@fairfieldi.com (Podkayne Fries)
Organization: Usenet Thuggess # 2
Message-ID:   <3990c2b0.51023399@news.cis.dfn.de>
Newsgroups:   alt.fan.tom-servo, rec.arts.sf.tv

On Wed, 09 Aug 2000 01:42:54 GMT, (Vinay Pandey) yaniv@haeyllehs.org

>Here's a question:  Who in the heck is Tom Servo?

Tom Servo is a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing
ice.  He  has been known to remodel train stations on his lunch breaks,
making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. He translates
ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. He writes award-winning operas, he
manages time efficiently.

Occasionally, he treads water for three days in a row. He woos women
with his sensuous and godlike trombone playing, he can pilot bicycles up
severe inclines with unflagging speed, and he can cook Thirty-Minute
Brownies in twenty minutes.

Tom Servo is an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in
Peru.   Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, he once
single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a
horde of ferocious  army ants. He plays bluegrass cello. He was scouted
by the Mets. Tom Servo is the subject of numerous documentaries. When
he's bored, he builds large suspension bridges in his yard. He enjoys
urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays,  after school, he repairs electrical
appliances free of charge.

Tom Servo is an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless
bookie.  Critics worldwide swoon over his original line of corduroy
evening wear.  He doesn't perspire. Tom Servo is a private citizen, yet
he receives fan mail. He has been caller number nine and has won the
weekend passes. Last summer he toured New Jersey with a traveling
centrifugal-force demonstration.

He bats .400.

His deft floral arrangements have earned him fame in international
botany circles. Children trust him. He can hurl tennis rackets at small
moving objects with deadly accuracy. He once read Paradise Lost, Moby
Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an
entire dining room that evening. He know the exact location of every
food item in the supermarket. He has performed several covert operations
with the CIA.

He sleeps once a week; when he does sleep, he sleeps in a chair. While
on vacation in Canada, he successfully negotiated with a group of
terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not
apply to him. He balances, he weaves, he dodges, he frolics, and his
bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, he participates in
full-contact origami. Years ago he discovered the meaning of life but
forgot to write it down.

He has made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a
toaster oven. He breeds prizewinning clams. He has won bullfights in San
Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the

He has played Hamlet, he has performed open-heart surgery, and he has 
spoken with Elvis.

Any more questions?

Regards, Podkayne Fries

Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry.

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